Planning for safety

Most people just want pestering, upsetting, threatening and frightening behaviour – stalking – to stop.

  • Research shows that action taken really quickly is most effective whatever the stalker type.
  • Stalking that goes on for longer than two weeks often continues long-term and can become part of the stalker’s way of life.
  • Stalking often gets worse. It can end in murder.


This is one of the most important messages people have told us about their experiences.

You may start off wanting to be kind to the person who is stalking you – for a huge number of reasons.


If you don’t want a relationship with the stalker:

  • They need to know this
  • You do not have to be cruel, just clear
  • Tell them – clearly and calmly – JUST ONCE
  • It is a mistake to try to give this message in a way that is not clear
  • It is a mistake to keep on  giving the message
  • Any communication at all will feed the stalker’s need to keep you communicating with them

Do not return phone calls, reply to letters, emails, text messages – no relationship means you make no contact*.  

Next: It is really important to think very carefully about the risks you may be facing.

*Of course, this is not always possible, e.g. stalker is an ex partner and there are child contact arrangements, or a work colleague etc. but don’t give up here please, carry on…