The Suitor

Stop An Unwanted Admirer

What can you do about An Unwanted Admirer Stalker?

Understanding the motivation of this type of stalker may well help.

So what motivates an Unwanted Admirer Stalker?

  • The Unwanted Admirer stalker believes they are entitled to a relationship with you whether you want one or not, and will ignore your responses.
  • It is what they want that counts to them, not what you want.
  • They want to start a relationship with you that can grow into an intimate relationship but are poor at making social contacts, are often lonely, and may make insistent intrusive demands on you – the sort that a normal person knows would be off-putting.
  • They often give up after a relatively short period of intensive stalking if convinced that their approach will fail to bring about a relationship with you
  • Unwanted Admirers are likely to watch and follow you rather than send letters or be violent

What can you do if you are targeted by an ‘Unwanted Admirer’ stalker type?

  • Gather and retain evidence carefully. Do not throw away evidence
  • Keep the feedback to an unwanted admirer stalker to a minimum (see the ex-partner section above for suggestions)
  • Make a note of every incident, date time, what happened, what was said and by whom, were there any witnesses, ask if witnesses will write down the date, time and what they saw; alert neighbours, colleagues, family and friends and ask them to keep records of sightings
  • Be cautious about what you share on social media
  • You can encourage an unwanted admirer stalker by misplaced politeness or by trying to be kind or gentle when saying that you do not want a relationship with them
  • See the ex-partner for information on giving a clear message, and giving it just once.


If you’re being targeted by An Unwanted Admirer Stalker, you can assess the risk you face here