Katie’s Story

After she ended their relationship, Katie Boardman’s ex-partner wouldn’t take no for an answer. He bombarded her with texts and
phone calls, turned up wherever she was and wouldn’t leave her alone. He even broke into her house and stole her keys and mobile phone.  Despite repeated calls to the police, nobody (including Katie) recognised his behaviour as stalking.  He was free to break into her house on October 9th 2008 and stab her to death. In terms of stalker typology, he would be classified as a ‘Rejected-Ex Partner Stalker.’  Read more about Katie’s case here.

How Can You Spot A ‘Rejected Ex’ Stalker

  • They want you back, at any cost.
  • Stalking usually starts when you end the relationship
  • May have been abusive or controlling when you were together
  • Wants to persuade you to go back or punish you for ending the relationship – often a mixture of both
  • Uses stalking behaviours to keep contact with you
  • Can go on stalking for a long time
  • Is likely to threaten you
  • Feels justified in using this behaviour to get you to do what they want
  • Stalking may escalate into extreme violence – many women killed by their ex-partners will have been stalked
  • May pose a risk of extreme violence to those close to you – your new partner or loved ones
  • May pose a risk of extreme violence to your children

The Rejected Ex may stalk in the following ways:

  • Repeatedly phoning/texting/emailing/messaging you
  • Repeatedly using the internet to publish information about you
  • Repeatedly pretending to be you on the Internet and posting information
  • Repeatedly monitoring you online
  • Repeatedly watching or spying on you
  • Repeatedly following or waiting for you
  • Repeatedly going to your home or place of work
  • Repeatedly sending unwanted letters or gifts
  • Repeatedly ordering or cancelling goods in your name
  • Repeatedly damaging your possessions
  • Repeatedly stealing your personal property
  • Persistently trying to find out personal information about you
  • Making threats to hurt you
  • Making threats to hurt those close to you
  • Making threats to hurt your children
  • Contacting your friends and people close to you
  • Contacting your workplace and colleagues
  • Sending obscene or sexually explicit messages
  • Threatening to commit suicide

Is this your stalker? Find out what you can do.

You may find it difficult to tell other people what is happening. Perhaps you’re exhausted and just hope your ex will go away? Maybe you’re embarrassed by the situation? Are you trying to ignore it and get on with your life?

It is important to tell people, your safety may depend upon other people knowing